After Freya
by luluguineapig
Summary: Merlin loves Freya. He always will. But he's also lonely. He deserves to find love too, right? Or maybe he was destined to have only loved once. Is he a betraying Freya if he falls in love again? Find out!
1. After Freya

**Hullo, this is my first time writing fan-fiction, so I doubt it will turn that great. We'll see, you never know. Ok, so this would be taking place after "With All my Heart." Also, I really appreciate reviews, private messages, anything. They bring joy to my day. **

**Alright, enough chit-chat let's get this party started, shall we? **

Merlin followed the knights and Arthur on his small mare reluctantly on yet another hunting trip. He hated these trips, especially after the time Arthur made the mistake of shooting the unicorn. Merlin began to lag behind.

"Merlin," Arthur called, "Keep up, won't you? I swear, you put such a damper on hunting trips. You're sullen attitude puts everyone off."

Merlin inhaled deeply.

"Sorry, Sire," he replied through gritted teeth.

The group passed the lake of Avalon. Merlin admired the majesty of the mountain. It reminded him of Freya. The scenery was paralleled in beauty only by the young druid girl who used to live there. He sighed nostalgically.

"Something troubling you, Merlin?" Gwain asked warmly. Merlin looked away from the mountain and smiled. "I'm just enjoying the view."

That night Merlin spent hours thinking about Freya. Of course he still loved her, but he wondered if he would ever move on. Would he ever find someone again that made him as happy as she had, or was it his destiny to die alone? What would Freya have wanted? Would she feel betrayed if he fell in love again?

That night he prayed for some sign that would let him know what was right. He had already flirted a couple times with that servant girl, Sefa, but he couldn't let himself go any further than that. Not without knowing how Freya would react. The worst part was that he could tell no one of his feelings because of his secret. Even if he could, he would feel too embarrassed to discuss such matter with someone like Arthur, who would probably would just make a joke or slap him on the shoulder to make him feel better.

As he drifted off to sleep, he desperately wished for a sign. Something to reassure him. To help him find answers.


	2. Merlin's Sign, as Requested

**Hello again! The last chapter was alright, it wasn't great. I wasn't sure how long to make these chapters, so sorry the last one was so short. This one will be longer. Thanks. As always, I love hearing reviews, pms, anything. Thank you for reading and thank you for those who favorite/ followed/ reviewed last time, you guys rock!. **

The sun that managed to eke through the window woke Merlin. He sat up groggily. Wait a minute, that was the afternoon sun! Merlin was late, he hadn't even woken up Arthur! He threw on some clothes (the same ones as always) and rushed out of his bedroom door. Gaius was consumed in some book.

"You're late for work, Merlin," he stated without even looking up. "I know, I know. Arthur's going to try to have my head." As he was about to flee through the front door, he caught in one hand some bread Gaius threw at him for breakfast. "Thanks." And with that, he shut the wooden door behind him and was on his way.

As he entered Arthur's room, a silver goblet whizzed past his head.

"At the tavern again last night, Merlin?" Arthur asked. Before Merlin could respond Arthur announced, "Well I hope you've sobered up, because later today we are having training practice, with your help of course."

Merlin gave him a sarcastic, fake smile before leaving to retrieve Arthur's lunch and avoiding being hit by an apple.

The chef provided him with a silver platter of meats, fruit, and other delicious food. When her back was turned, Merlin tried to snatch a mini cake (his breakfast wasn't extremely satisfying), but the chef swiftly whirled around and swatted his hand away.

"Keep your grubby, little paws off of my food!" She barked. Merlin sighed and retracted his hand. If only the chef would keep Gwain from stealing the food off of Arthur's platter as he walked down the hallway. Whenever there was food around Gwain followed Merlin like a dog. He turned the corner too quickly to get away from him and accidently ran into someone. The platter went flying from his hands and the food spilled all over him.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" said a feminine voice. Merlin looked over to see a gorgeous young maiden. She had golden brown hair braided tightly behind her, but that did not stop one wavy lock of hair from straying out and dropping down the side of her cheek. She had large, blue eyes with tinges of embellishing violet. Merlin blinked a few times. "No, it was my fault, I'm sorry. I'm Merlin by the way, Arthur's personal servant." She smiled. "Nice to meet you, Merlin, my name is Cai. I'm Queen Guinevere's new servant." They paused, locked in each other's gaze, but just for a moment.

"Perhaps I can introduce you to people and show you around the castle?" Merlin offered. Cai giggled. "That's very kind of you, Merlin, but Guinevere has already promised to show me around." "Oh," Merlin's smile dropped slightly. "But that's no reason for us not to see each other another time," Cai continued. She got up and brushed herself off. "I have a feeling we'll be seeing much more of each other," she flirted as she walked away.

Merlin's guilt over Freya returned to him. Was Cai flirting with him? He felt clueless.

Merlin defended himself with his shield just in time as Arthur impaled it with a sword. Merlin tried to scurry away but Arthur was determined to punish him for being late. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Gwen and Cai watch the training session. Cai smiled at him. Her smile was so genuine, so warm, so welcoming. He managed to stand up, but was still being chased around by Arthur. One very strong blow struck him to the ground. He was lying face down in the grass.

"Come on, Merlin, get up. We can be done for the day," Arthur tried to reason. Looking over in the grass beside him, Merlin saw a single, pretty red flower in the grass. He picked it up and smelled it.

"Don't tell me you're collecting flowers now," Arthur scoffed. "It's the color of strawberries," Merlin said with a smile. He felt a weight lift from him. He knew clearly what to do now.

**So? Please let me know what you think. Is the plot too corny? Am I capturing the characters correctly (I'm struggling with Arthur I think). I'll try to post the next chapter soon. Stay tuned!**


	3. Moving on With Flowers

**Hello again, I can't believe how many of you favorited/reviewed/read! Thank you for choosing this story, you rock! Special thanks to 13lue13erry for being so nice and writing awesome stories.**

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Later that evening, Merlin visited the Lake of Avalon. He dropped the strawberry colored flower into the water and whispered, "Thank you Freya."

The next day he received wonderful news from Arthur.

"Guinevere and I are going to take a ride through the woods this afternoon. You can't come because you always ruin the mood, so you can take the rest of the day off." Merlin smiled from ear to ear. He was about to leave when Arthur made one last request, "Oh, and would you send some flowers over to Guinevere?" Merlin sighed. "Freshly picked would be great."

Merlin wandered through the woods gathering a bouquet of yellow and red flowers for Gwen. When he had finished arranging the bouquet, he picked one large, blue cornflower and hid it by tucking it into his neckerchief.

Back in Arthur's room, Merlin handed him the flowers, "Here." Arthur sniffed them briefly, "Well done, Merlin, you are free to go." Once again Merlin began to walk out when Arthur changed his mind. "Wait. Come back here." Merlin put on an annoyed grin as he trudged by towards Arthur. "Merlin, what is that," Arthur pointed to his neckerchief. "What is what sire?" "Never mind, I thought I saw something blue. I must be seeing things." A wave of relief washed over Merlin. All of a sudden, Arthur shouted and pointed to the opposite side of the room, "There!" Merlin whirled around like a fool as Arthur snatched the blue cornflower from inside his neckerchief. He held it up. "What is this?"

Merlin racked his brain for an answer. "That…is a blue cornflower," he pronounced each syllable slowly and spoke very matter of fact. "And to whom were you planning on giving it?" "Gaius!" Merlin exclaimed. "Gaius?" Arthur asked with disbelief. "Er, um, yes, Gaius. He needs the, uh, pollen, to make a specific remedy." Arthur still wasn't buying it.

"Well I'll be off then," Merlin said as he swiftly snatched the flower back and finally left the room. Arthur would have followed him, but Gwen entered. He gave her the flowers.

"Oh they're lovely! Tell Merlin thank you from me when you see him next." Arthur rolled his eyes and smiled as he kissed his wife.

_Ok, now what? _Merlin thought. He wasn't one of those men like Gwain who could walk up to random girls and give them flowers. That trick never worked anyway. Oh! He had a brilliant idea!

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Cai thought over the things she had to do that day. Gwen had given her most of the day off because she was spending time with Arthur. All that was left was to fill Gwen's tub for her bath when she returned. What would she do in all of her free time?

She meandered back to her little cot where she lived alone. She had family, but she had left them to venture to Camelot. She still visited them in their little village in the forest whenever she could.

Her family consisted of her mother, father, two sisters, and three brothers; there simply wasn't enough room for her anymore. That was only one reason she had come to Camelot. She had wanted to learn more about the kingdom and its inhabitants. She didn't wish to spend her life cooped up in a small, log cabin in the middle of nowhere. She knew it was extremely risky to live in Camelot when you had magic though.

Oh how she missed her brother, Nathanial. He had the gift too. She was so close with him, and he had wanted to come with her to Camelot, but alas, the strict and cruel laws of the land made him too afraid. Cai wasn't afraid, but she was cautious. Since she had arrived, she hadn't used magic. Cai sighed. She supposed that not using it was, in fact, a byproduct of fear. The truth was, she wouldn't dare even mention magic whilst in Camelot. At least she was brave enough to travel there in the first place and become Queen Guinevere's personal servant; that took some gumption.

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**Thanks for reading guys! Please let me know what you think. Tell me what you loved and what you hated about this chapter. See ya soon!**


	4. The Stalker

** Hey guys! Thank you for making it to the 4****th**** chapter! As John Mulany says, it's so much easier not to do things. Thank you for all of your great reviews, and private messages, I really appreciate it. Now, without further ado:**

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Cai had spent her afternoon cleaning her little hovel of a home and relaxing. It would probably be about the right time to begin getting water for Gwen's bath, as she would be returning very shortly. Cai made her way to the storage room and picked up an empty water bucket. She walked over to the well and was about to pump the water when she was taken aback by what she saw in the bucket.

Sure enough inside was a beautiful blue flower. She reached in and held it. Was it meant for her? Perhaps it was meant for Gwen and someone accidently dropped it into the bucket? No, that didn't sound right. But who would have access to the royal storage room? Hardly anyone knew which storage room the buckets and tubs were kept in the first place!

She lifted it to her nose and smelled it. It wasn't very fragrant, but it was a lovely gesture. She tucked the stem into one of her braids so that it rested on the side of her head. The color complimented her eyes.

Now all she could do was wonder who her secret admirer was.

Meanwhile, Merlin had hidden behind a wall and poked his head out so that he could see the entire happenstance. He figured that since Gwen and Arthur were going riding through the woods, they would both want a bath when they returned. He knew that Cai would fetch a water bucket sometime that day because Gwen, being kind and considerate, had let Cai know ahead of time that she would need to bathe. Arthur, on the other hand, would probably call Merlin back later that evening to draw his bath.

Merlin felt both elated and awkward about the entire exchange. He was happy that Cai seemed to like the flower, but now also unsure of how to tell her the flower was from him. He peeked his head around the wall once more when he felt a hand on his shoulder and a deep voice shout, "Boo!"

Merlin jumped and whirled around to see Gwain grinning in satisfaction.

"Getting up to mischief, Merlin?" Gwain questioned and wiggled his eyebrows. Merlin's face flushed from pale to scarlet.

"N-no! Nothing! I, er, no mischief! I was just…just about to, um, deliver a message from Gaius to one of his patients," Merlin flustered. He was a terrible liar.

Gwain smirked, "No use trying to hide things, Merlin. Everyone knows you couldn't keep a secret for your life."

Merlin tried to keep from laughing and used Gwain's observation to his advantage, "Exactly, which is why I obviously am _not_ hiding anything, because if I were, you would know." As Gwain pondered this thought, Merlin quickly slipped off.

After Guinevere had bathed, Cai was finishing her last couple chores of the night.

"That's such a beautiful flower, Cai. It matches your eyes," Guinevere complimented with her warm smile. Cai gently reached up to her hair to touch the flower, which she had forgotten about until then.

"Oh thank you, Milad- I mean Gwen. I found it in my water bucket this afternoon, but I don't know who it's from." Guinevere's brow furrowed. "Well when you find out be sure to let me know." She said this both out of her own curiosity and also out of regret for not pressing Sefa for such information when it could have saved lives. Cai sensed her worry, "Don't worry, you'll be the first person I tell."

Guinevere restored her smile, "thank you, Cai, that will be all for the night." Cai curtsied and left the room.

Meanwhile, Arthur had finished bathing and was now talking with Merlin as he fluffed the pillows of the bed.

"So, Merlin, did Gaius enjoy his flower?"

"Pardon?" Merlin seemed confused. Arthur smirked; Merlin couldn't escape this time. "You know, the one you were meaning to give him this morning?" Merlin blushed slightly, "Oh yes, he did enjoy it, thanks." "For which remedy did he need the petals, again?" Arthur asked innocently. "Oh, um, this one that quells high fever." Arthur's face lit up as Merlin fell into his trap. "Liar! You said he needed the pollen, not the petals!"

Merlin stopped fluffing pillows for a moment in contemplation and then resumed. Arthur continued his interrogation, "So tell me then, Merlin, who did receive the said token of your affections?" Merlin grinned as he finished fluffing the pillows and made his way to the door. He turned and looked at Arthur, "None of your business, clot-pole." And with that he shut the door behind him and retired from his work for the evening.

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** Sorry it has taken me so long to post this chapter. I was stuck traveling all day yesterday on a plane. Anyway, hope you still like the story. Let me know if you think I've made a wrong turn somewhere or if there's something I could've done better. I like constructive criticism. Thanks guys!**


	5. Bad Poetry Springs From Genuine Feelings

**Hey guys! Here we are, on chapter 5! Is anyone out there whose reading also a Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog fan? If so, I've just posted a short crossover between Merlin and Dr. Horrible if anyone's interested. Ok, back to the story. Thanks for reading!**

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Arthur stepped outside his bedchambers to try to catch Merlin before he left, but he was too late. Merlin had already gone. He did notice Guinevere's servant walking home, though. A huge grin was plastered on his face when he saw the blue cornflower entwined in her hair as she left the castle.

The next morning Merlin was on time. He woke up Arthur, served him breakfast, and then took off his own brown jacked whilst he polished Arthur's boots. Arthur talked with Merlin while he finished his chores.

"Say, Merlin, what do you think of Guinevere's new servant, um, Cai, is it?" Merlin momentarily looked up. Arthur's face seemed genuine. Merlin continued scrubbing the grime off of the leather heel of his boot.

"She seems to be doing a good job," Merlin replied as nonchalantly as possible. "Well I thought since _you're_ a servant, and _she's_ a servant, you two would have already been well-acquainted."

Merlin stifled a laugh, "That could be the most prattish thing I've ever heard you say."

Seeing Arthur's face turn that red was definitely worth the wet rag that was subsequently thrown at Merlin's head.

"Anyway," Merlin continued throwing the rag aside, "I've barely met her." Merlin froze after speaking. He hadn't even realized this. He had only really met her once! Sure he had seen her around quite often, but he hadn't had much of a chance to talk to her. What was he doing trying to woo a woman who he barely knew?! Actually, he hadn't even planned to give her a flower in the first place. He had just seen it in the forest and it immediately made him think of her aquamarine eyes.

He decided then and there he wouldn't attempt to woo her anymore until they knew each other better. Fortunately, giving her a flower wasn't _too_ forward, though the love poem he had written her last night was. He began to turn bright red. He had been _very_ tired last night. He could barely remember what he had written. Arthur noticed him blush.

"Surely you've made small talk with her plenty of times though. When you run into her in between errands?" Arthur pressed on.

"Hmmm?" Merlin was caught up in his reflection of his and Cai's relationship. Arthur figured he was daydreaming about Cai. He sighed and shook his head. Merlin in love was even more of an idiot than usual.

Merlin finished polishing the king's boots and then moved onto polishing his armor.

"Merlin, after you finish polishing, you need to clean out the stables." Arthur ordered. Merlin sighed, "Yes, sire."

Merlin finished the task at hand and then left to muck out the stables. They weren't paying him enough.

Soon after he had gone, Arthur noticed that Merlin had left his jacket behind from when he had taken it off to scrub the boots.

"Idiot," he mumbled to himself as he picked it up. A slip of parchment floated out from one of the pockets and onto the ground. Arthur picked it up with curiosity. It read:

_A lovely stare, I must take_

_Azure eyes are sky's awake._

_The Sun is shining upon you,_

_The crystal drops of morning dew,_

_They start all that is fresh._

_In your gaze, I lose my breath._

Arthur nearly burst out laughing. It actually wasn't a bad poem so far, just extremely sappy. There were quite a few stanzas left. The next couple verses were similar to the first, but slowly the poem changed:

_Your brown hair drapes down your shoulders_

_It pains me so, to see you shiver._

_Hungry, cold, and alone_

_You tug deeply at my heart._

_But you are strong_

_In soul and mind_

_For that I shall love you_

'_til the end of time._

_Strawberries match your rosy cheeks._

_When I visit my knees grow weak._

_Across the silver, placid lake_

_We shall dance together for eternity._

_~Love Merlin_

Somehow the last part seemed strange to Arthur. As if it didn't quite fit. He had to wonder if girls really bought this stuff. Merlin had even rhymed "rose" with "toes." How was that romantic?

No matter. Arthur slipped the parchment back into Merlin's pocket and put the jacket aside for when his servant returned. He was still unsure of whether he should try to embarrass Merlin by mentioning the poem.

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**Ok! Sorry about the poem, It **_**was**_** rather sappy. But did you get it? Anyway hope you're enjoying the story. I always love to hear from you, it makes my day. Oh, and if you also are a Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog fan, don't forget to check out my short crossover if you're interested. Until next time! **


	6. The Horse, the Witch, and the Warlock

** Hullo again! I don't know how well this chapter will turn out, as I am writing it as I'm traveling. I'm slightly concerned that looking at the screen will make me carsick, but until I do, I shall attempt to write a new chapter. Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive and reviewed my stories, I really appreciate your input.**

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It didn't take Merlin long to realize that he had forgotten his favorite jacket. Not that it mattered much, he wouldn't have worn it while he was mucking out the stables anyway.

He took a break to pet the small, chocolate-brown mare that he usually rode on journeys. It was such a gentle creature, and she and Merlin had developed a special bond.

"Is that your horse?"

Merlin whirled around to see who the inquisitor was and nearly melted when he was met by Cai's gaze. She was wearing a warm, almost wistful smile as she leaned against the stable door and watched Merlin care for his horse.

"Well she technically belongs to Arthur, but I'm the one who always ride her," Merlin answered, looking back at the horse.

"Are you supposed to be in here?" He asked, not out of rudeness, but out of concern that Cai would get in trouble.

Cai laughed. "No, probably not. I love horses and when I saw the door slightly open, I just wanted to take a peek inside. Anyway, I won't tell anyone that you're playing with the horses instead of cleaning out the stables if you won't tell about me coming here," she teased. Merlin smiled, "Of course."

Cai stepped into the stable house and began to gingerly stroke a fair-sized, grey speckled horse, which was most commonly ridden by Gwaine. She had a natural camaraderie with the horses. She could talk to them and they would occasionally nod or whiney as if they understood. Merlin stared in awe of her connection with the animal.

"I used to spend a lot of time riding and caring for horses," she explained wistfully. Cai remembered when her brother Nathanial used to take her on riding trips through the woods, showing her life's natural beauties along with the proper way to treat a horse.

Cai snapped out of her nostalgia, "Say, Merlin, maybe we could go riding together the next time Gwen and Arthur give us the day off. I don't know about you, but I was just sitting around with nothing to do but clean this last time." Merlin thought back to what he had done with his spare time yesterday. He had mostly run errands for Gaius and of course plotted out how to give Cai that flower, nothing that was more interesting than spending time with the girl herself.

He nodded, "I would like that very much." Both of their cheeks turned slightly pink. Once again, the two were just for a moment locked in each other's gaze. Cai was the first to look away and break it.

"I better go back to serve Queen Guinevere." Merlin cleared his throat and looked at the ground, "Yes, and I better muck out the stables soon or I'll be washing the King's feet later."

Cai laughed, stroked the horse's soft mane one last time, said goodbye, and left. Merlin sighed as he raked out some of the stable hay.

After quite much arduous work, Merlin finished and made his way back to Arthur to serve him during the council meeting this evening. When Merlin returned, he was sitting at his desk skimming over a large scroll.

He glanced up, "Merlin! I need you to help me get dressed into my evening wear!"

As he was handing Arthur his clothes from the other side of the screen, Merlin asked, "So did you enjoy your trip with Lady Guinevere yesterday?" "Why yes, Merlin, we had a rather peaceful lunch, free of your constant interruption," Arthur teased. Merlin threw over his shirt, hoping it would fly on top of his head.

"Why don't you and Guinevere take a trip through the woods again Saturday? There aren't any council meetings that day," Merlin suggested.

"You just want more time off to waste at the tavern, Merlin," Arthur snorted in derision.

Merlin turned pink. "I do not! I was just thinking that when the summer comes, Camelot will become busier due to the sunshine and longer days; you'll have to entertain more guests. You and Gwen should enjoy what time you can eke out of your busy schedule while you still can."

Arthur sighed. He wouldn't admit it, but Merlin was right. "Perhaps if that idea appeals to Guinevere it may be worth my time," Arthur replied, careful not to give Merlin the satisfaction of gaining more time off. "You'll still have to wake me up and serve me breakfast, Merlin. And Guinevere's servant, Cai will have to-" That's when it dawned on Arthur.

Merlin wanted time off to spend with Cai!

"Actually, Merlin, I'll just have George fill in for that little bit of the day. No use paying you for only working one morning." The logic behind this explanation for hiring George was flawed, as he would just end up paying George for the morning as well. Merlin didn't seem to notice though, he was too elated that his plan worked.

The reason Arthur had done this for his servant was partially out of generosity and partially out of guilt. He felt bad that he had read Merlin's poem to Cai. At first all he wanted to do was relentlessly tease Merlin about it, but after a bit more contemplation, he felt that he had infringed on the little bit of his servant's privacy that he had. This would make it up to him.

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**Alright! Sorry this chapter took me a little while longer than usual to write. Anyway, I'm going to be really busy for the next 3 days, so a new chapter may not arrive for a while. To make up for this delay, I made this chapter a bit longer than usual. Thanks to all of you who read and review, I really appreciate knowing that there's a person out there who enjoys my writing; it's my motivation to keep going. Cheers!**


	7. A Ride Down Memory Lane

**Hello again, everyone still with me? I hope I haven't bored you to death. **** Ok curtains up, film rolling, action!**

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That Saturday morning, George went into the stables to ready Guinevere's and Arthur's horses for their trip. After he had left with them, Merlin crept up from around the corner where he had been hiding and approached the stable door. He checked to make sure no one was watching.

"_Tόspringe_!" He hissed as his eyes flashed gold and the door unlocked. He entered the stables and readied his brown mare and Gwaine's speckled horse for riding. He led the two animals outside and to the edge of the forest as inconspicuously as possible. If you act like you know what you're doing and have nothing to hide, people tend not to suspect you.

"Are you ready?" Merlin turned around to see Cai bright-eyed and bubbling with excitement.

"Yes," Merlin returned with a smile, "Arthur and Gwen are riding eastward, so I thought we should ride in the opposite direction."

She nodded, "I hope it wasn't too much trouble to get the horses," she said with a hint of fear in her voice.

Merlin laughed, "None at all. Arthur and Gwen wouldn't really mind anyway. Arthur just likes to put on a show." Cai relaxed a bit. Merlin was about to assist her onto the horse, but instead she climbed on by herself with ease. She giggled as Merlin struggled to get on his own horse.

"Ready?" She asked. Merlin nodded. Without any time to waste, Cai lightly flicked the reins and rode ahead at full speed. Merlin stared for a moment before flicking his own reigns.

They ventured further and further away from the city. The trees grew thicker and taller, the grass stranded higher, and the flowers dabbled hints of bright colors within the vast, green world.

It was amazing how if you looked closely, you could see every outline of every leaf that made a treetop. Lavender that looked as if it had been dipped in purple silk bordered their path. Far off in the distance you could see the outline of a mountain begin to form.

Cai glanced back at Merlin and giggled, not from humor, but from the absolute thrill of riding through such beauty. Cai and her horse majestically leaped over a fallen tree trunk on the path. Her braid flew out behind her and you could see the silhouette of her slender arms tightly grasp the reins as she soared through the sky and landed with grace. Merlin's horse, however, decided to stop at the tree trunk and wouldn't budge. He had to climb down and lead his horse around the log, while Cai waited patiently trying not to laugh.

Once they were off again, they rode for another hour peacefully. Neither one said much. They were enjoying themselves greatly, and even though they barely talked, there was no awkwardness between them or any urge to make short, uncomfortable conversation. When they did talk, it was meaningful and not because they were just trying to be polite.

Eventually Merlin began recognizing the area; they were heading towards Lake Avalon. He shifted nervously and prayed that they would pass it quickly. He didn't want Cai to watch him nearly have a meltdown. But of course, when they arrived at the lake, Cai gasped.

"Merlin, it's so… beautiful! Why don't we stop here to rest and talk for a while?"

Merlin couldn't do this. This was his and Freya's place, it was too painful to be there with another woman.

He shook his head, "Maybe we should head back, Arthur and Gwen might return before us and notice the horses are missing if we're not careful," Merlin answered. Cai bit her lip, "Surely we still have a bit more time? You said so yourself, Arthur would only put on a show and Gwen doesn't mind at all," she tried to convince him, but to no avail.

Merlin shook his head again and said more firmly this time, "Gaius will also be worried. If we turn back now, we could make it in time before anyone gets suspicious."

Cai tried not to frown as she turned her horse around and began riding back with Merlin. He had seemed so happy up until a few minutes ago, what had changed in that short period of time?

They rode back in silence. It wasn't the same blissful silence from when they had ridden to the lake, Merlin was much more somber.

When they arrived at the city, Arthur and Gwen hadn't returned yet. Cai climbed off her horse and tried to smile at Merlin as she thanked him and waved goodbye. Merlin returned a slight smile that almost looked forced. She hoped that she hadn't said or done something to upset him.

Merlin sighed. He hadn't wanted to make her feel bad, but the thought of being at the lake with her made him sick. It would forever be his and Freya's lake, taking someone else there made him feel like he had betrayed her. Now he just had to wait and see what the future would bring.

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**Hope you liked this chapter. Let me know if you think the story is faltering. I have a few more chapters planned out, so try to stay with me if you can :)**** Thank you as always for reading, it's great to know that if I become an author someday, my cat won't be the only one to read my book (I don't want to be the crazy cat lady). You guys are awesome!**


	8. Hope is a Waking Dream

** Hello all, thank you for your wonderful support. Talk about motivation to keep writing. Alright, and without further ado, the chapter.**

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Thoughts of Freya wafted through Merlin's head. He also thought of Cai and how he wished that he had not been rude to her. He also wished that he had not betrayed Freya. All of his guilt flooded back, tormenting him until it slowly and painfully put him to sleep that night.

"Merlin," her sweet, soothing voice called his name.

"Freya?" He called out to her. Her beautiful, loving face came into view. He was lying beside the lake with her sitting at his side. She brushed her cool, delicate hand down the side of his face. "My dear Merlin," she spoke softly. Merlin immediately sat up and embraced her, on the verge of tears. All he wanted was to hug her, and kiss her, and tell her how much he loved her.

Before his lips could meet hers though, she put her finger in between them. Her smile dropped slightly, "Merlin, I am here for a reason. I was allowed to come into your dream tonight to relay a very important message."

Tears stroked his cheeks, "Anything as long as I get to see you again." At this her smile restored and tears welled in her eyes.

"I didn't run away with you because you have a great life in Camelot and I didn't want to steal that from you," Freya continued, "Merlin, by the time I met you, it was too late for me. My fate was destined."

"No! I promised I'd look after you! I love you, I will always love you. And now I've betrayed you, I've-" Merlin flustered and tripped over his words. Freya interrupted by putting a long, elegant finger to his lips.

"I wanted you to be able to keep your life in Camelot, and to live happily. I still want that for you," Freya explained.

"But you make me happy! We fell in love, there's nothing you or I can do to change that. I betrayed you by trying to woo Cai and-"

"Merlin, I shall always love you! And I know that you will always love me. But loving another person does not make you a traitor. This world needs more love and less hatred, so I _want_ you to open your heart to her. Seeing you happy makes me happy. We will always be a part of each other, nothing can ever change that, Merlin."

"I just don't want you to think that I'll forget you," he whispered through tears.

She smiled and breathed into his ear, "You could never forget me, for I will always be with you." As she said this, she, as well as the lake, slowly began to dissipate. The last thing Merlin felt was the cool touch of her fingertips that had been placed on his shoulders.


	9. Sleep is the Best Meditation

** Wello Hello My Good Fellow (I came up with that), I'm sorry that that last chapter was a bit shorter than usual, I just felt it needed to cut off when it did. Let's see what happens next; I'm a bit uncertain of how this chapter will go myself.**

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When Merlin awoke, he clutched the sides of his small bed. He had had one of those sensations where you felt like you were falling as you woke up. He exhaled slowly as he realized it was a dream. Everything was a dream, a pleasant, friendly, happy dream.

He found that he could recollect it easily. He knew Freya's intent, and he would honor it. He reminisced in her memory for just a moment longer before jumping up to get ready for the day ahead. Merlin did _not_ have today off, and if he was late, Arthur would make him finish extra, remedial chores.

He arrived at work on time and was prepared to tackle anything that was thrown at him. Today he felt happy. Today he felt refreshed. He was even confident.

"Merlin, what are you grinning over? You look like you've been slapped by a rainbow," Arthur observed as Merlin entered the room. Merlin realized he had been beaming with happiness to the point that it was almost creepy. Arthur's comment didn't spoil his spirit, but it did bring him back down to Earth. He dialed his Cheshire cat grin down to an engaging, earnest smile.

"Sorry, I just feel extremely…light today," Merlin told the King. "Light?" Arthur scoffed in his 'you've got to be kidding' tone. "Merlin, did you fall on your head whilst climbing the steps this morning?" He asked. Merlin laughed as he began to piece Arthur's armor together.

"Of course not, I'm just happy, Arthur! Would you rather I just mope all day?" Merlin asked jokingly. He skip-stepped over to the table and picked up multiple empty, silver trays, stacking each on top of each other. He made his way to the door, spun around happily, and left to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

Arthur stared at the door in disbelief.

Merlin hummed as he scaled the hallway. He waved and smiled at the other staff.

"Good morning, Merlin," Gwaine greeted his friend before passing him. Merlin flashed him one of the widest grins you've ever seen and replied, "It most certainly is!"

After delivering the dishes, Merlin went into hyper-drive finishing his chores. Arthur watched in awe as his servant, washed, pressed, scrubbed, raked, assembled, and delivered in almost no time.

"Um, Merlin, you need to, uh, muck out the stables," Arthur said nervously.

"Already finished, sire!" Merlin beamed. "Then why don't you iron my clothing?" Arthur suggested. "They're already clean and neatly pressed," Merlin smiled. "Well, have you, um, polished the-" Merlin interjected before Arthur could finish, "I've polished your armor, sword, boots, silverware, belt, and the floor today, sire."

It was all Arthur could do to keep his jaw from dropping. "I s-suppose you're done for the day then, Merlin," Arthur's voice wavered as he said it. Apparently Merlin's smile _could_ grow wider.

Merlin exited into the hallway and spied Cai on her way to bring food to Guinevere. Merlin waved to her and rushed over. Before she could greet him, he began to ramble.

"Cai, I am so sorry about yesterday. I had just, um, not been feeling very well and-"

Cai held up her hand and interrupted, "It is already forgotten." She smiled at him. He really hadn't seemed well yesterday, she hoped he was better.

Merlin smiled at her in return, "Thank you." They had one of those moments where they were locked in each other's gaze before Merlin continued, "I have a proposition!"

Cai smirked. He was so goofy in the way he held himself; it was adorable! "Yes?"

"Later this evening, would you do me the pleasure of accompanying me on a moonlit walk?" He asked. Cai giggled at how formal his tone was.

"Why the pleasure would be mine," She returned with the same formal manner.

* * *

At the time Cai and Merlin were able to meet at the edge of the forest, the sun was yet to have even set.

"Gwen dismissed me early," Cai explained.

"That's alright, we can still enjoy the sunset," Merlin suggested optimistically. They would be walking this time, so he doubted they would cover as much area as yesterday.

Dark green leaves dangled over their heads as they passed by tree trunks that bore peeling bark. Water spilled over some nearby rocks, sounding like hundreds of fairies were clapping their hands in applause. Grey rocks with different shades emerged from the dirt. Spots of red kissed green leaves once or twice to mark a rose.

After a fair bit of wandering, they reached a patch of blackberry bushes. "Oh, why don't we stop to eat some blackberries?" Cai exclaimed. Merlin nodded in agreement.

They stepped on top of the thorny vines of the shrub to prevent being scratched. Still, somehow thorns managed to cling to Merlin's pant legs. Cai, on the other hand, evaded the wrath of the pointy branches with expert skill. She plucked the blackberries almost effortlessly. For as long as she could remember, nature had seemed to work _with_ her, rather than _against_ her.

As she pulled at the berries, the juice flowed over her fingers like blood. She plopped the sun-kissed berries in her mouth, one by one.

A dark-blue dragonfly fluttered around them. His gossamer wings glistened fuchsia under the setting sun. Cai held out her dainty hand and let him land on her long, slender fingers.

"How do you do that?" Merlin asked. "Do what?" Cai looked over to him struggling in the shrubbery. "How do you maintain such a special connection with animals? The horses were practically melting over you back in the stables," Merlin said with a chuckle.

Cai gulped. Nathanial had many times said that he believed her bond with animals to be related to her magic, but no one was certain of how.

Cai swallowed her wariness. "I suppose I was born with it," She replied as modestly as possible. A moment of silence hung in the air before Cai changed the subject by pointing westward and saying, "Look how gorgeous the sunset it. Perhaps we should go sit down somewhere and watch it."

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**Ok, sorry it took me forever to update, I've been taking a couple of classes, which has been keeping me busy. I'm also sorry if this chapter is a bit weird, I wrote it while listening to music. Anyway, the next chapter will have some juicy action, so stay tuned! Thank you guys for continuing to support me by reading my story, I always will appreciate it.**


	10. Blackberry Bushes From Hell

** Hello there! I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I have a number of excuses, but I think I'll just move on instead. **

**Thank you all for all of your wonderful support! I was having a bad day the other day, but reading all of your reviews made me so happy, so thank you. Now, as promised, the next chapter!**

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Merlin and Cai sat on a nearby log and reveled in the beauty of the sunset. Orange sunshine splashed the horizon. The world grew silent. The birds that had been chirping stopped, the blowing wind ceased, and the day had gone. The sun was replaced with a swirling, dark purple sky.

"The stars are forming," Cai stated as she blissfully gazed up into the night. "First you'll be able to spy a few, but soon you'll see that there are actually millions and millions in the distance. It makes me wonder," Cai paused and slowly entwined her hand with Merlin's on the log, "how can there be something so vast and enormous living alongside so tiny and inferior beings such as ourselves?"

Merlin pondered her profound thought, but quickly came to his answer.

"Without large, godly things, there cannot exist small things. And without inferior beings, there is no such thing as superiority."

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That's when Cai knew. It was then that she realized what she liked about Merlin; he was poetic and philosophical. He was more thoughtful than other men. For him, fighting was a form of self-defense, not a way of life. He didn't feel the urge to show off strength or bravery. Yet even though he was very deep person with a complex mind, he was still able to see the world for what it was and maintain a sense of humor and jocularity. These were the traits that truly won Cai's heart.

Merlin admired similar traits of Cai's. He was intrigued by her mutual love for nature. He recognized the sincerity and passion that she used in everything she did. At this point, he longed only to learn more about her. One thing did inhibit him from furthering his relationship though, and that thing was the secret which he kept from her and the rest of the world. The closer they became, the more he would want to tell her.

Cai, on the other hand, had no worry of Merlin discovering her magic. She hadn't used it since she had arrived in Camelot, perhaps she never would again. This thought made her stomach churn, but she had learned early on that sometimes to gain great things such as a life and family in Camelot, sacrifice had to be made. Her use of magic was a hefty price to pay, but the reward of living in the hearth of the kingdom and the promise of romance was no small gift in turn. She decided that it might just be worth it.

Merlin broke her train of thought, "I'm still rather hungry, would you mind if I picked a few more blackberries?" Cai laughed and shook her head. She supposed all men had one thing in common: a desire to eat food.

Merlin talked to her as he dropped a few berries into the palm of his hand, "Are you from Camelot?" He asked. Cai stood up and picked a couple berries herself.

"No, I traveled here for the first time only recently. My family used to live in a small village shrouded by the forest. I don't suppose you've heard of Fawr?" Cai asked. Merlin shook his head. "It sounds familiar, but nothing comes to mind. I'm from a small village too, Ealdor," He replied.

"Oh, I passed through Ealdor once. It was quaint and cozy." Merlin chuckled, "That's one way to describe it."

A single, plump blackberry dangled overhead. Even Merlin, who was rather tall, had to stand on his tiptoes to reach it. As soon as he plucked it, a long, thorny branch from underneath the shrub flew out and wrapped around Merlin's leg.

He yelped in pain and fell to the ground.

"Merlin!" Cai cried as she rushed to his aid. The branch began to pull him into the shrub. The thorns pierced his leg. Other vines began thrashing around in the air as if the bush had grown a mind of its own. More prickly vines grasped him.

One large, thorny bough lunged at Cai, but she jumped away.

"Run, Cai!" Merlin shouted. If she ran now, she would be safe and he could use his magic to free himself. But Cai didn't move an inch. Merlin, on the other hand, was slowly being yanked under the bush. He wrestled with the branches, but they continued to wrap around his body. They scratched his arms. This was it; he had to do something! Before he could begin to utter his spell, he heard a voice behind him.

"_Ástríce!"_

The vines immediately released Merlin and retracted into the shrub.


	11. Courage is Grace Under Pressure

**Thank you guys! Because of you, I am motivated to finish this story if it kills me!**

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Cai felt sick the second the spell left her lips. But it had, and she couldn't take it back. She was so tired of watching things happen, this time she decided to do something. In a way, using her magic to save Merlin was her own personal victory. It could mean her doom.

Meanwhile Merlin was struggling to process everything. Within the last 15 minutes he had been attacked by killer blackberry bushes, which inflicted with deep scratches all up and down his body, and there was now a sorceress standing behind him. What did this all mean?!

"Cai, did-" Merlin began to ask a question but he was interrupted by Cai's hysterics.

"Merlin, I know this looks bad. Please, I'm not evil. I was born with it! I don't use it! I only used it because you were in danger! Please don't tell Arthur. I'll leave Camelot! Just, please, give me 2 days to run in advance. I'm not evil, I just want to live. I'm just a person like you."

Merlin stood up and brushed himself off. He forgot about his cuts and scrapes. He walked over to Cai, held her frail arms in his, and kissed her. It was gentle and soft, so not to scare her.

Cai, for once, wasn't scared at all. Her fear and worry suddenly washed away and she enjoyed the present moment. He finally pulled away just enough so that their noses still touched.

She stared into his deep blue eyes. They told her that he would never hurt her. Merlin then raised his arm. Cai watched with curiosity. All of a sudden, dozens of fallen leaves swirled up into the air and formed a perfect circle above their heads. Cai gasped in stared in awe. Her eyes snapped back to Merlin's. He was smiling.

"How can a force that can create something so beautiful be evil? It's the same force that saved my life only a few moments ago. No, it's not magic that's evil, it's the people who abuse it," Merlin told her softly. "And I know," he continued, "that you aren't one of them." He slowly brought his hand to her face and stroked her cheek.

All of her emotion surfaced. Tears welled in her eyes as she grasped his neck and brought his lips to hers. This time their kiss was more passionate. The world spun around them and sparks flew up into the night sky.

When they stopped, they rested their foreheads against each other and gazed into each other's eyes. "It's time to stop running, Cai," Merlin whispered. Cai nodded, "I know." she replied with a smile. "I'm tired of being scared," she said.

"What if you were fearless? What would you do? Where would you go?" He asked. Cai laughed, "I would move to Camelot and begin my life." This time Merlin smiled. "Ok, check, and then what?" He asked.

Cai took a step back and reached down to hold Merlin's hand. "And then… I would open a flower shop!" She answered with exuberance. "A flower shop?" Merlin arched an eyebrow. "Mmmhmm. And I'd live in the Kingdom's central with my husband, children, and our family cat," she continued dreamily. "And maybe an herb garden in the yard?" Merlin added. "Most certainly," Cai laughed.

"May I have the pleasure of escorting you back to the city where your dreams will one day come true, Miss?" Merlin flirted and held out his hand. Cai gently slid her hand on top of his. "Only if you're there," she said. Merlin brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. He answered, "Well that would be _my_ dream." Cai blushed. She was more serious when she whispered to him, "Thank you."

The two walked back to the Camelot hand and hand. The early morn would be upon them very soon.

Cai felt stronger. She felt that no one could hurt her as long as she was with Merlin. That he would take care of her. She could let her guard down around him. She could…trust him. And Merlin felt the same way about her. Nothing could bring them down tonight; there was too much happiness in the air.

They had become so blinded with bliss and love that they completely forgot about the killer blackberry bushes. Merlin didn't even notice his wounds until after he had said goodnight to Cai and snuck past Gaius to his bedchambers. Gosh, it was so late, Arthur wouldn't be too happy with the quality of work his servant produced tomorrow. _Oh well_, Merlin thought. It didn't matter. For once, it felt like nothing mattered. He didn't feel the pressure to take responsibility and blame for everything. This had been one of the best weeks of his life, and nothing could change that.

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**Hope you guys liked that! Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews last chapter, they were so kind.**


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